Islamic Etiquette on Wedding Night

The great keenness Islam shows to the concept of marriage, as being the lawful means for fulfilling the natural sexual urge and the establishment of a peaceful family and pure society. This is clear in the following statements of the eminent Muslim scholar Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi: The Qur’an emphasizes the spiritual objectives of marriage, making them the foundations of marital life. These objectives are realized in the peace of mind which comes through wholesome sexual experience with the spouse whom one loves, in the enlargement of the circle of love and affection between the two families united through marriage, and in the nurturing of affection and tenderness among the children under the loving care of their parents. These are the objectives mentioned by Allah in the verse that reads: (And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell with them in tranquility, and He has put love and mercy between you. Indeed, in this are signs for those who reflect.) (Ar-Rum 30:21)

At the same time, the Qur’an does not neglect the sensual aspect and the physical relationship between husband and wife. It guides human beings to the best path, fulfilling the demands of the sexual urge while avoiding harmful or deviant practices.

However, it should be noted also that making love to one’s wife on the wedding night does not differ from lovemaking at any other time save in the sense that being the first time together, it is given special care and cautiousness. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) offers us the best guidance in this very special night.

Focusing on this issue, we would like to quote the following from The Kuwaiti encyclopedia of Islamic Jurisprudence. It reads: Muslim jurists are of the view that on their first time together on the wedding night a Muslim groom is recommended to place his hand on the bride’s forehead and seek Allah’s blessing for them both. This is based on the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that reads: “When one of you marries a woman or buys a servant (this was before the abolition of slavery), let him say ‘O Allah! I seek from You her good and the good You created in her; and I seek refuge in You from her evil and the evil You created in her.’”

It is also a Sunnah to offer two rak`ahs (prayer units) in which the husband leads his wife. This is a sign of showing obedience and submission to Allah when they are still on the threshold of their new family life. Also, a husband is recommended to offer his wife something to drink after having some sips of the same glass. On making love to his wife for the first time, a Muslim husband should say: “O Allah! Keep Satan away from us and keep him away from any offspring You may bless us with.”