Could Have, Would Have, Should Have? – Making Peace With Hardships

Blessings from Allah are generally perceived as a tick of approval, whereas trials and hardships are a distasteful aftermath – something that arrives not to impart any gain but to take away something valuable from us. More often than not, it is this mental construct that leads to the ‘lost opportunity’ ideology creating dissatisfaction with the way things unfold in our lives. Yes, the infamous “could have -would have -should have.” A set of ideas or beliefs that link us up with the past, forming a perception of how an event should have happened, but it didn’t, and vice versa.

Judging Books by their Covers

Processing any hardship in itself becomes exceedingly difficult when people throw at us phrases and statements such as: “Had you ensured your safety by doing or by not doing so and so, you wouldn’t have been in this situation today!” or “You could’ve done it differently to avoid being exposed to –(xyz)”. As varied as these statements can be, they are clearly devoid of the careful forethought needed to exercise before uttering words that may add to someone’s misfortune or suffering. But Allah lovingly reassures:

“Say, nothing will befall us except what Allah has decreed. He is our Maula”. So in Allah let the believers put their trust.” [Surah At-Tawbah – 9:51]

Maula is the Arabic connotation for ‘guardian’ which, like a balm to a wounded spirit, suggests synonymous words like LORD, HELPER, and PROTECTOR.

Allah – The Lord 

The Quran tells us that THE Lord ( رَبّ) is someone to whom service and obedience are due. Since Allah is the ultimate Lord, a believer attributes all that happens to him or her to His Will that prevails no matter what. It would’ve never gone the way if Allah hadn’t willed it. He is The Lord of the multiverses without Whose knowledge not a leaf hits the ground [Surah Al-An’am – 6:59], Who alone knows and sees the finest mysteries that all eyes in the universe combined cannot see; as brilliantly pinpointed in the Quran: 

“Beholdings (i.e., eyesights) cannot perceive Him, and He perceives beholdings and He is the Ever-Kind and Ever-Cognizant.” [Surah Al-An’am – 6:103]

Al-Bukhari recorded that Salim bin Abdullah said that his father said that the Prophet Muhammad said: 

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “The keys of the unseen are five and none knows them but Allah: (1) None knows (the sex) what is in the womb, but Allah: (2) None knows what will happen tomorrow, but Allah; (3) None knows when it will rain, but Allah; (4) None knows where he will die, but Allah (knows that); (5) and none knows when the Hour will be established, but Allah.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 7379]

The gist of this assertion is that Allah is the absolute possessor of the knowledge of the Unseen with the exclusive power of bringing it into existence. Concerning Allah’s  knowledge of all that is concealed, it is only logical to accept the limited designation of a man’s role as well his authority in having any prior knowledge of what is to unfold in the future. Yet the believers exercise their will in line with the divine commandments in areas of life over which they have been given control: such as faith, practices, and chosen values. We can refer here to the insight Allah  provides on the very subject in Surah Luqman, verse 34:

“Verily, Allah! With Him (alone) is the knowledge of the Hour, He sends down the rain, He knows that which is in the wombs, no person knows what he will earn tomorrow and no person knows in what land he will die. Indeed, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.” [Surah Luqman – 31:34]

Admittedly, it is His prerogative alone to make the unknown known to His created beings in a manner and time that best fits His knowledge. Allah says:

“We have treasures of everything, but We send them down in a particular measure.” [Surah Al-Hijr – 15:21]

Allah – The Helper 

PC: Ashkan Forouzani (unsplash)

So if He has chosen to test a believer with something, He is not going to leave him at it clueless. Think of Him as الْوَالِي, the HELPER. Who, upon heartfelt persistent invocations, comes around with the gift of ease and eventual victory. A helper is someone who is an ally, a supporter, and a sole governor who will bring the resources needed to get something done. This brings up the mirror to our intuitive awareness and recognition of His singular, undivided authority over asbaab (resources). The question remains, do we strive to align our actions with the divine will or recoil on ungratefulness by manufacturing our own conjectures and drift away from the precedent set by the beloved Prophet when tested?

“Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the Best Guardian; What an excellent Protector and what an Excellent Helper.” [Surah Ali Imran  – 3:173 & Surah Al-Anfal – 8:40]

Allah – The Protecting Associate

A believer whom He has chosen to be tested is thus given all that is needed to prepare in advance for the calamity that was placed on his path. It was (divinely) intentional and with a significant purpose. No matter what the magnitude of suffering and loss of material resources looks like, there is solace in knowing that He  is الْوَلِيُّ, the PROTECTING ASSOCIATE. So, the failures, the falls, the bruises, and the cries that are collectively viewed as ‘anti-gain’ are valuable in His eyes provided they lead a believer to the station ordained by Allah .

This means we can safely own up to our vulnerabilities, for once ensued, it would most certainly allow us to let go of the aftermath of a loss, grief, a fall, and a failure followed by peace bestowed by Allah . As penned eloquently by Sir Allama Mohammad Iqbal (the great Pakistani poet and philosopher): 

تو بچا بچا کے نہ رکھ اسے ترا آئنہ ہے وہ آئنہ

کہ شکستہ ہو تو عزیز تر ہے نگاہ آئنہ ساز میں

Do not try to (over) protect your mirror (i.e., heart) for your mirror is the mirror 

That once broken, is dearer in the eyes of its Maker (God)

The Path of Least Resistance 

Unquestionably, then, no soul is tried by a hardship except that it is elevated in spiritual ranking with Allah . These tests and trials are nothing but His ways and means to draw us closer to the promised victory intrinsically connected with difficulty but to those who persevere and give thanks.

“Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted – let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except according to what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease.” [Surah At-Talaq – 65:7]

A believer will never end up with an evil. It is inconceivable of a Lord so merciful who gives away from His limitless blessings even when a believer carelessly exposes himself to an accidental prick of a thorn. Allah’s wisdom surrounds the entire universe and those who love Him would not entertain any doubt in His all-encompassing love and fairness of the plan for their lives. So, believers trust relentlessly that the lows are too from His grace and bounty as much as the highs are.

Seeking Allah’s mercy at all times is definitely the right thing to do. However, hoping to never encounter any hardship foils our chances of getting closer to Allah . Time and history both are witnesses to the many events when believers were tested through abundance as well as deprivation only to be rewarded with something greater later on. No doubt, believers follow along the path of tawakkul (trust) which means dedicating our full energy to employing the lawful material resources with abject loyalty to Allah , and finally resigning the outcome to the ultimate taqdir (destiny).

The Guaranteed Blessing of Hardships

What counts with Allah brews behind the veils of the heart, is embedded in the character and nobility of intention. As platitudinous as it may sound, with the world it is reduced to an accumulation of worldly gains, an oversized precedence of culture over religion which inevitably results in deep spiritual numbness. A believer, once struck with a calamity, is beckoned to filter and relinquish that which is not rooted in true faith. Trials are, in fact, profound blessings in disguise that Allah grants to those whom He chooses to purify for His sake, who assert a claim to the indestructible hand-hold gripped upon the rope of God, and actively recognize a hardship as a sign of His Mercy as well as a means to gain His proximity both here and Hereafter.

Lastly, to Him alone we implore with utmost humility to guide us through trials and tribulations. And we attribute all goodness to Allah and all shortcomings along with their due consequences are ours to own.

“There is no deity except You; exalted are You. Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers.” [Surah Al-Anbiya – 21:87]

Related:

– When Problems Have No Solutions: Making Peace With Endless Trials

– Overcoming Trials | The Message of Surah al Kahf