Pre-Marriage Tips
- It’s not about the wedding Event, it’s about Person you love and want to be with.
Don’t make the best day of your life the day of arguments. when you sense conflicts building as you work out the details for your wedding, pull back and take a deep breath. And discuss with your partner. It’s a partnership not a competition. The wedding is the starting point of your life together with someone you love. Don’t let the idea that your wedding day will be perfect create a tension in you. Bring your close family and friends together to witness your marriage. - Practice acceptance
Do not try to change your partner into the person you are hoping they will be. Remember his or her personality , upbringing and lifestyle is very different from yours. Learning the art of practicing acceptance will be a useful skill as you grow old together. - Have the money talk before you need to
Money can be a source of conflict in any marriage. Are you a spender? A saver? Do you create a budget and stick to it? Do you set aside a certain amount of your earnings each month for an emergency (or vacation) fund?
Talk to your future spouse about how they manage their money and make sure you are both comfortable with each other’s spending and saving habits before you marry and start combining assets. - Being Mentally prepared to get married
Are you marrying for the right reasons? If not, do yourself and your future spouse a favor: wait. There is no need to rush into marriage. If you feel the pressure to tie the knot (from your partner, family, or society), take a time-out to sit back and reevaluate. Go to a r pre-marriage counseling to understand yourself better.
If you find yourself thinking, “Well, if it doesn’t work out, I can always get a divorce,” stop right there and take a step back. Our ALLAH(SWT) dislikes divorces so if you are going to get into a marriage it should be with full commitment. - But don’t wait too long
The research shows that the more you wait the more faults you will find. Communication is vital here. Set a goal date for your Nikkah. If you don’t, then Shaitan will play his own game. - Get your mind around the idea of living with another person
Alhamdullilah we as Muslims generally live with our families until we are settled. the difference comes as moving together as one of the steps to marriage. This shift to a two-person household or with your in-laws will take some adjustment. That’s completely normal and does not mean you two aren’t made for each other. How do you make this change as smooth as possible? Communicate.
Before you move in together, a piece of premarital advice work on your space . What is each of your needs in terms of workspace? Home gym? TV room? Does it make sense to move to an entirely new place, or have one of you moved into another person’s place? Have a definite plan in hand as this will make your married life so much easier. - Sex and intimacy
sex life is a very important part of married life. Sometimes this makes the girls very nervous and stressed. It would be nice to talk to your close friends who are married or cousin sister whom you are close to who can help you in this process. It is also important if you can have a chat with your doctor . Read some books or articles that can help you. - Showing acts of Love are important
Since we do not have the dating concept . Things like Flowers, love notes, flirty texts, surprise weekends, and thoughtful gifts are all part of the love language. So its not a bad idea to plan how you are going to show your love to your spouse
Sometimes you just forget to keep these loving gestures going past the initial years of marriage. You fall into a routine, take each other for granted. And then they wonder why they aren’t feeling as loving as they did in the early days of married life. - Marriage is hard (but worthy) work
Some one said good marriage takes work to keep it good. But it is the type of work which bears fruit continually, so the results are very much worth it.
Before marriage, it is crucial to go through the above pre-marriage counseling If you have any doubts in your mind . Talk to family and friends whom you see as happy couples this is a big learning process by itself.
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