Top Financial Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Marriage is not only a sacred bond between two individuals but also a union that requires careful planning and consideration, especially when it comes to financial matters. In Islam, the financial responsibilities of both spouses are clearly defined to promote a harmonious and prosperous marriage. 

Before two individuals tie the knot, the couple should feel free to share what they want financially, what is important to them, and the overall financial plans for meeting the goals. Sometimes, many couples don’t know how to have this discussion. 

This article will explore the top financial questions to ask before marriage and also provide guidance and insights to help couples communicate properly about the topic.

The Importance of Open Communication About Finances

The place of money in a relationship between two or more people, especially husband, and wife, is very important and should always be discussed clearly or can lead to marital issues. This is why it is important to understand what your partner thinks about money before exchanging vows. 

This discussion builds credibility and ensures mutual objectives and shared accountability of the financial aspect of the partnership between the partners. Here are some reasons why it’s important to openly communicate about finances:

Building Trust and Understanding

When couples openly discuss their financial situations, they establish a foundation of trust. Sharing details about income, debts, spending habits, and financial goals allows both partners to understand each other’s perspectives and backgrounds. 

This helps to prevent surprises that can lead to conflicts later on. For instance, if one partner has significant student loans or credit card debt, discussing these issues openly can help the other partner understand the financial situation they are entering into.

Setting Shared Goals

If there is free financial discussion, the partners can agree on the financial targets. Talking about such dreams of owning a home or planning for children’s education or for retirement enables the two partners’ goals to be in harmony. 

By working together towards common objectives, couples can create a financial plan that reflects their values and dreams. This collaborative approach not only strengthens their financial foundation but also deepens their emotional connection.

Addressing Financial Red Flags

It is quite important to be able to identify tendencies when something bad is going to be said in financial discourses. 

Any hint of uneasiness when it comes to money, different spending patterns or when one partner feels left out when it comes to financial choices is a sign to talk. It is crucial to discuss these concerns when they are small to avoid turning into a major problem, which would develop resentment.

Accountability and Joint Decision-Making

Regular financial discussions promote accountability. When both partners are involved in the financial decision-making process, they are more likely to stay committed to their budget and financial goals. This joint responsibility fosters a sense of teamwork, reinforcing the idea that financial well-being is a shared endeavor.

Money Questions to Ask Before Marriage

1. What are your financial responsibilities as a husband and wife in Islam?

The husband is primarily responsible for providing financial support to his wife and family. The Quran states, “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth” (Quran 4:34). 

This means that the husband must meet most of the basic needs of the wife, which include food, clothing, shelter health care, and any other necessity that he could be expected to meet. 

The wife has her money and things which she may spend as she wishes and she is not to contribute to the expenses of her husband’s home unless she so desires out of her own choice.

2. How do you plan to manage your finances as a couple? 

Couples should consider questions such as: 

• Will you have joint or separate bank accounts?
• How will you allocate your income towards household expenses, savings, and investments?
• Will you create a monthly budget to track your spending?
• How will you handle unexpected expenses or financial emergencies?

It is important to find a system that works best for both partners while adhering to Islamic principles of fairness, transparency, and mutual understanding.

3. What are your financial goals, both short-term and long-term?

Speaking about the financial objectives before marriage enables the two partners to set priorities with reference to the common objective. Examples of short-term financial objectives include; 

• Being able to pay for a down payment on a house
• Repaying some debts that one has
• Being able to cater for a wedding among others.

Long-term goals could involve saving for retirement, real estate, or starting a business. So, couples, defining these goals together, can create a financial plan for further reaching these goals and for financial security.

4. How do you plan to handle financial disagreements or conflicts?

When financial disagreements arise, it is important to have a plan on how to handle them. So, this is a good question to ask. You should discuss the best communication styles for you and your partner and agree on a process for addressing financial issues.

5. What is your attitude towards debt and financial obligations?

Debt is a sensitive topic in Islam, as the Quran prohibits riba (interest). Couples should talk about credit, loans, credit cards, and mortgages. They should also think about such important aspects as loans, student credits, or other financial responsibilities that they will share with their partner.

6. How will you handle financial responsibilities related to children?

Children are a gift to the couple in Islam and educating them is very costly. Couples should have a talk on their plans for having children such as when they want to have children and how many children they want to have. 

They should also address issues like; the costs incurred in raising a child like the medical bills, the education fees, and even the issue of child care. This will help them prepare for the financial responsibilities that come with parenthood.

7. What is your understanding of Islamic financial principles?

Islam provides clear guidelines for financial management, including the prohibition of riba (interest), the obligation of zakat (charitable giving), and the importance of fairness as well as transparency in financial transactions. Couples should discuss their understanding of these principles and how they plan to apply them in their marriage.

8. How will you handle financial responsibilities related to extended family members?

It is common in many cultures that the members of the extended family are likely to depend on each other for financial needs.

As for the needs of the families, they need to speak about what they anticipate from each other, for instance, how frequently they are planning to send money or help financially in emergencies, or when there is a need to support a sick, disabled or elderly family member. 

They should also take into account how such tasks will affect personal and or household financial plans and financial wellness.

9. How will you handle financial responsibilities related to Islamic events and celebrations?

 Muslim couples engage in diverse Islamic occasions in the year; for instance, Eid al-Fitr, Eid al-Adha, and Mawlid. Some of these events may be associated with some form of giving, sponsoring of events such as feasts, or contributing to communal events. 

This means couples need to sit down and agree on what they expect and how they intend to meet the costs of these events. 

Now you know the financial questions to ask before marriage but be prepared to see some disagreements in certain areas. In such situations, how should disagreement be handled? Find out in the next section.

How Should Muslim Couples Handle Financial Disagreement?

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Couples should have open and honest discussions about money matters, sharing their concerns, expectations, and goals. You can have weekly and/or monthly meetings to make sure you and your partner are on the same page.

Understand Islamic Financial Principles

Couples should sit down and explain to each other some of the Islamic financial rules concerning the prohibition of interest, or riba, zakat which is charitable giving, and the concept of Bait-ul-Mal or fairness.

Prioritise Needs Over Wants

The money that the husband should spend should first meet the basic needs of his mother and wife. What is more, spending on wants should be done only after spending on needs.

Be Fair and Balanced

The husband must be fair in balancing his financial obligations to his parents and his wife/family. Spending should be moderate, not excessive or stingy.

Involve In-Laws if Needed

If the wife has a good relationship with her mother-in-law, involving her in discussions can help resolve conflicts. Open communication between all parties is key.

Seek Guidance if Needed

Where the husband and wife cannot settle issues within the aspect of finances on their own, they can consult with other people such as parents, the Quran, or Islamic financial experts.

Conclusion

In conclusion, discussing finances before marriage is essential. It builds trust and helps couples align on financial goals and responsibilities. By addressing key questions about money, both partners can avoid surprises, ensure fairness, and strengthen their relationship. Open communication about finances sets the stage for a successful and harmonious marriage.

Talha’s journey in the world of writing began with Islamic content, where he found a way to merge his passion for personal growth, well-being, and self-improvement with his knack for engaging storytelling. His articles and blog posts quickly gained popularity, resonating with readers who sought guidance on topics such as mindfulness, self-care, productivity, and healthy living.

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