Ways to Respect Your Parents
Blog Post 84
Rajab 16, 1447 – January 5/6, 2026
“And your Sustainer has decreed that you worship no one except Him Alone and be good to the parents. Whether one of them or both of them reaches old age with you, then do not say to both of them ‘Uff’ (a word of disrespect) and do not repel them, but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of the mercy and say, ‘My Rabb! Have Mercy on both of them as they brought me up when I was small.” (17:23-24)
“And We have enjoined upon people for their parents – his mother carried him in weakness upon weakness and his weaning is in two years – that ‘Be grateful to Me and to your parents; towards Me is the destination. But if they strive against you on that you associate partners with Me what you do not have any knowledge of it, then do not obey both of them. But accompany them in the world with kindness and follow the path of him who turns to Me. Then towards Me is your return, then I will inform you of what you used to do.’” (31:14-15)
Ways to Respect Your Parents
1.Put away your phone in their presence.
2. Pay attention to what they are saying.
3. Accept their opinions.
4. Engage in their conversations.
5. Look at them with respect.
6. Smile at them with love.
7. Call them as much as you can.
8. Give salaams to them first.
9. Help them in any way you can.
10. Run errands for them whenever you can.
11. Hug and kiss them often.
12. Always praise them.
13. Share good news with them.
14. Avoid sharing bad news with them.
15. Speak well of their loved ones and friends to them.
16. Keep in remembrance the good things they did.
17. If they repeat a story, listen like it’s the first time they tell it.
18. Don’t bring up painful memories from the past.
19. Avoid side conversations in their presence.
20. Sit respectfully around them.
21. Don’t belittle/criticize their opinions and thoughts.
22. Avoid cutting them off when they speak.
23. Respect their age.
24. Avoid disciplining their grandchildren around them.
25. Accept their advice and direction.
26. Give them the power of leadership when they are present.
27. Avoid raising your voice at them.
28. Avoid walking in front or ahead of them.
29. Avoid eating before them.
30. Avoid glaring at them.
31. Fill them with pride even when they don’t think they deserve it.
32. Avoid putting your feet up in front of them or sitting with your back to them.
33. Don’t speak ill of them to others.
34. Keep them in your prayers whenever possible.
35. Avoid seeming bored or tired of them in their presence.
36. Avoid laughing at their faults/mistakes.
37. Do a task before they ask you to.
38. Continuously visit them.
39. Ask them about their childhood memories.
40. Talk about their love for you especially when you were a child.
41. Show interest in the memories of their lives.
42. Choose your words carefully when speaking with them.
43. Call them by names they like.
44. Make them your priority above anything besides Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala.
45. Tell them you love them very much.
46. Tell them you appreciate and are grateful for everything they did for you.
47. Praise Allah for your parents.
48. Invite them to gatherings and functions.
49. Bring them a gift from your travels.
50. Do not make your parents angry.
52. Do not annoy or irritate your parents.
51. Do not break their hearts.
52. Donate to charity in their names.
53. Invite them over for a meal.
54. Make food for them that they especially like.
55. Buy a gift for them that they especially like.
Parents’ Rights
Observing the rights of parents is so important. Even if your parents are not Muslims, their rights should be observed. It is unthinkable that you could oppose your parents, neglect and be rude to them because they are not Muslims. Recently there was some discussion online about Muslims not marrying converts to Islam because their parents were not Muslims. This is a travesty because Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala is the Guide Who guided the people to Islam and made them Muslims and it is He who placed people into their families with their particular father and mother. Why would Muslims turn away from a Muslim and disrespect them so much that they do not find them suitable to marry because their father and/or mother were not Muslims? After all, besides Prophet Muhammad and his family, peace and blessings be upon them, everyone else were converts! And if you were born into a Muslim family, you also need to make a conscious decision to be a Muslim. Don’t you?
Mothers
Mothers have a very special place in the hearts of their children. They should be treated with much love, dignity, respect and honour.
Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him and his family, said when asked, “Whom must I treat piously first, Allah’s Messenger?” The Prophet answered, “You must first treat your mother piously.” The man asked, “Then whom?” The Prophet answered, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then whom?” The Prophet answered, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then whom?” The Prophet answered, “Then comes your father.”
Imam Zain al-Abideen, peace and blessings be upon him, said in his Treatise of Rights:
“The right of your mother is that you know that she carried you where no one carries anyone, she gave to you the fruit of her heart that which no one gives to anyone, and she protected you with her hearing, sight, hand, leg, hair, and skin as well as all her organs. She was highly delighted, happy, eager, and enduring the harm, pains, heaviness, and grief until the Hand of Power saved her from you and took you out to this Earth. She did not care if she went hungry as long as you ate, if she was naked as long as you were clothed, if she was thirsty as long as you drank, if she was in the sun as long as you were in the shade, if she was miserable as long as you were happy, and if she was deprived of sleeping as long as you were resting. Her abdomen was your container, her lap your seat, her breast your container of drink, and her soul was your fort. She protected you from heat and cold. You should thank her for all that. You will not be able to show her gratitude unless through Allah’s help and giving success.”
After Your Parents’ Deaths
Parents are treasures in this world. You are lucky if your parents are still alive, but you will realize this only after their deaths.
Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him and his family, said: “On the Day of Resurrection, a man who treats his parents piously after their departure of life will be regarded as the chief of the pious.”
If your parents are no longer living, you can fulfill their unfulfilled responsibilities. You can perform some prayers, fast, give charity, go for Hajj on their behalf. You can pray for them and ask Allah to forgive them. You can fulfill their promise(s), respect their friends and make connections to their relatives for them. Good deeds that you do for your parents after their death will get to them as gifts and will make them happy in Barzakh.
Imam Ali al-Ridha, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “There isn’t a single believer or faithful person that visits another believer’s grave and reads Surah al-Qadr (the 97th surah of the Holy Quran) seven times for them unless Allah forgives both the reader of the surah and the dead person.”
Results of good behavior and respect toward parents
1.Prolongation of one’s life
2. Having more wealth and getting Allah’s blessing
3. Gratitude of the next generation to us (gratitude and appreciation of our children)
4. Getting forgiveness from Allah for sins
5. Repulsing bad happenings
6. Acceptance of prayers by Allah
7. Blessings of Allah in our life
8. Effects of sins are vanished and you become bright spiritually
9. Acquiring spiritual rewards
10. Passing away easily and without much pain
Please do not forget that you too will become old and will have expectations of how you want your children to treat you.
Results of Disrespect and Ingratitude
Disrespect and ingratitude are major sins, especially when done towards your parents. They lead to spiritual deprivation. Your prayers and other acts of worship will not be accepted if you harm or neglect your parents. Disrespect can result in your disgrace in this life and in the Hereafter.
Act with humbleness around your parents. Speak respectfully and honourably with your parents. Obey your parents in all lawful matters. Show extreme compassion and care for your parents as they age. Show reverence to your parents. Pray for your parents.
Note 1: These are not in any order of importance. They are all important. Feel free to add to the advice.
Note 2: Think about how many of these practices can also apply to your children, spouse, relatives and everyone.
Resources
“Respect Your Parents.” Awesomequotes.com. (Website not working)
As-Sadr, Sayyid Mahdi. Trans.by Bader Shahin. “The Ahlul-Bayt: Ethical Role-Models.” Qum: Islamic Republic of Iran, Ansariyan Publications, 2001. Al-Islam.org. Accessed from https://al-islam.org/ahlul-bayt-ethical-role-models-sayyid-mahdi-sadr/rights-parents-and-sons
“The obligations of children in the words of Imam Reza (pbuh).” (August 16, 2016). Masaf International.com. Accessed from https://masaf-intl.com/obligations-towards-parents/
