A List of My Favourite Duas as a Parent
1) Dua for patience
This is one of my favorite duas as a parent – that I find myself repeating often!
“Our Lord, pour upon us patience…” [2:250]
Fa-Ra-Ghayn (the root letters for the word “afrigh”) means to empty, vacate, to unload, to pour out, be free from (other things). To make every effort, apply every ounce of strength, do one’s best.
It’s like asking Allah to empty the whole bucket of patience over you. Let the patience envelop you whole so you can self regulate and exercise self control in the moments of utter chaos and stress where all your triggers are set off – and you want to yell or worse…
So whenever the baby would bite while nursing, I’d squinch and ask Allah to pour patience upon me.
Whenever the toddler drops all the food on the floor, my eyebrows frown and my mouth automatically asks Allah to pour patience upon me.
Whenever the preschooler would take forever to wear shoes while we all patiently wait, I ask Allah to pour patience upon me.
Whenever the elder kids won’t stop bickering, I have to ask Allah to pour patience upon me.
Whenever my child would make that same mistake in her hifdh the 100th time, I have to take a deep breath and ask Allah to pour patience upon me.
Sabr is from the root letters Saa-Baa-Ra: meaning to bear calmly, to refrain, to withhold oneself, to bind, to be constant towards. Composure, self-control…
There are so many moments where I have to remind myself that the real patience is at the first stroke of calamity – patience comes at the first blow.
That patience is when all of the chaos is happening. Patience is being kind to myself and taking a break. Patience is not uttering from my mouth what my mind is screaming. Patience is listening to my body and responding to it gently. Patience is sticking to my truth no matter what. Patience is not losing myself amidst the turmoil. Patience is fighting learned behavioral patterns and being mindful instead. Patience is the opposite of hopelessness. Allah loves those who are patient!
So Pour upon me patience ya Rabb!
2) Dua for stress management
My mother and I used to travel with the wife of an Islamic speaker to learn the Arabic language in Saudi Arabia. She was enrolled in the same institute where we were enrolled.
This woman with a very calm nature, had 8 kids. 4 of them step, 4 of them her own. 1 of her child was a special-needs toddler. 6 of her children were huffaadh (kids who had memorised the Quran at a very young age).
She used to travel for studies with her youngest one (baby) and whenever the baby used to cry, she used to recite this dua in the same tone (the way you see my niece reciting in the video – P.S. I didn’t make this animation).
اللَّهُ اللَّهُ رَبِّي لاَ أُشْرِكُ بِهِ شَيْئًا
It was narrated that Asma’ bint ‘Umais said:
“The Messenger of Allah ﷺ taught me some words to say at times of distress: Allah! Allahu Rabbi la ushriku bihi shay’an (Allah, Allah is my Lord, I do not associate anything with Him).”
Back then I didn’t even know this hadith existed, but when I read it for the first time, it reminded me of her. And I wondered how sadaqah jaariyah flows into people without you ever realising the effect you left on the other person. She didn’t preach, she simply lived the words of Allah.
The calm in her voice stuck with me for so long that now, all of our kids put their toys to sleep like that too (1yr old just says “Allah abbi” on repeat).
I wasn’t married back then. But it stayed with me simply because I saw a very different reaction in a stressful situation. She called upon Allah whenever she felt the stress of motherhood crushing her. And I used to stare in awe as her baby would go from level 100 to level 0 real quick.
When I had my children, I literally felt the power of this dua too (more like dhikr I guess).
Just today, I held my very fussy 1yr old, who was writhing in my arms, crying so loud – I tried to copy that calm in her voice while walking with her in my arms and just like that she was asleep…
I made dua for that woman then.
If you benefit from it, I hope you make dua for her too!
May the angels say aameen for you in return! 💜
3) Dua for setting priorities right
May our greatest concern never be how we look, but how we see.
May our greatest concern never be how much we weigh, but how much we carry.
May our greatest concern never be how much we earned, but how much we spent in the path of Allah.
May our greatest concern never be how many sales we make, but how many lives we change.
May our greatest concern never be how many good deeds we checked off the list, but how many were accepted…
May our greatest concern never be how many degrees we have, but how much knowledge we do.
May our greatest concern never be how much deen we studied, but how much we practiced
May our greatest concern never be what others are doing in their lives, but what we did!
May our greatest concern never be what people think of us, but what Allah does!
Muhammad ﷺ supplicated: “O Allah! Do not make this world our greatest concern…”
Allāhumma lā taj`alid-dunyā akbara hamminā …
So I pray that Allah gives us concerns that are bigger than this temporary world. That are larger than life.
4) Dua for Allah’s help
When you are sick and you also have to take care of sick children, I can’t help but repeat the short yet powerful dua of Nuh عليه السلام
Annee maghloobun fantasir.
I am helpless, so help me.
This is what Nuh عليه السلام said when his people denied his message, called him a madman, and exiled him:
فَدَعَا رَبَّهُۥٓ أَنِّى مَغْلُوبٌۭ فَٱنتَصِرْ
So he invoked his Lord, “Indeed, I am overpowered, so help.” (54:10)
After this desperate call of Nuh عليه السلام, Allah سبحانه وتعالى says:
“Then We opened the gates of the heaven with rain pouring down. And caused the earth to burst with springs, and the waters met for a matter already predestined. And We carried him on a planks and nails, Sailing under Our observation as reward for he who had been denied.” (54:11-14)
When everyone in the house has been allowed to feel the feels all day long. Everyone has unloaded their system by crying or venting, you think, “When is my turn? Where do I unload? How do I even cater to my needs?…”
In those moments, these aayaat bring such relief. And the dua automatically slips from my lips:
Annee maghloobun fantasir.
I am helpless, so help me.
Nuh عليه السلام was left with no one to turn to. So he turned to The One! And Allah سبحانه وتعالى came to his rescue like no one else could have.
So when I make this dua out of helplessness, I also imagine the gates of heaven opening up with rain pouring down. And the earth bursting with springs. And a ship carrying me across this wave of helplessness under the observation of my Lord as a reward for all that I was denied in this world as a test.
Ya Rabb!
Annee maghloobun fantasir.
What a humble way of not only accepting your powerless state but also finding light at the end of a tunnel.
So when I’m cooking while breaking up fights, I end up desperately calling out to my Lord; Annee maghloobun fantasir.
When I feel the pure exhaustion of having to switch my entire parenting strategy with each child because of their unique nature and temperaments, I take a deep breath to make dua; Annee maghloobun fantasir.
The incidents keep changing, but the words remain the same.
Annee maghloobun fantasir.
5) Dua for Shifa (cure)
أَسْأَلُ اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ رَبَّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ أَنْ يَشْفِيَكَ
Prophet ﷺ said, “He who visits a sick person who’s not on the point of death and supplicates 7 times: As’alullahal-‘Azima Rabbal-‘Arshil-‘Azimi, an yashfiyak (I beseech Allah the Great, the Rubb of the Great Throne, to heal you), Allah will certainly heal him from that sickness.”
I have to recite this for my kids often. Sometimes they are fake-hurt 🤷🏽♀️ (and they find comfort in the process), sometimes they are actually hurt. My 4yr old bruised her finger really bad recently. We had to buddy-strap her fingers and put a popsicle stick before the bandage because we wanted to make sure that the finger was not fractured.
She was trying to save my laptop from her little sister and in the process she fell and the laptop landed on her poor fingers.
While we were panicking as to what happened and how, my 4yr old asked while crying “did you make dua for me”?
So I put her in my lap and recited this dua 7 times. By the end of it, I asked – do you feel better now? She nodded her head.
Although I know she still felt the pain, but the whole process helped her calm down. It actually helped me calm down too.
Then I told her that it’s OK to save yourself first because your life is more important than the laptop. I mentioned this because my father used to tell us before every umrah/tawaf/hajj journey – “even if you drop your gold jewelry, do not bend down to pick it up – lest you get trampled on”. It was his way to tell us that things are replaceable while people are not.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B53PexZlp3g/?igshid=5fuq4s2dyrp1
See this 👆 video for the dua kids can recite for themselves too when they’re hurt (7 times) starting with BISMILLAH 3 times:
أَعُوذُ بِعِزَّةِ اللَّهِ وَقُدْرَتِهِ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا أَجِدُ وَأُحَاذِرُ
Dua is indeed the ultimate weapon of a believer. Especially in the times when we feel hopeless and stressed. May Allah heal all the hurting souls in the world…
