Family Ties and the Obligations of a Groom
When a Muslim groom prepares for marriage, establishing a foundation of unity and respect within the family is a paramount objective. Occasionally, individuals choose to severely restrict wedding preparations, asking for a bride’s hand alone and limiting the marriage contract to a basic gathering at the mosque while entirely excluding their own parents and siblings. While such actions might stem from a desire for utmost simplicity, completely isolating one’s family during these significant milestones can cause deep emotional fractures. Understanding the balance between modesty in celebration and the religious obligation to uphold family ties is essential for a blessed union.
The Obligation of Maintaining Kinship Ties
Severing ties with close family members, particularly by excluding parents and siblings from moments of joy, is considered a wrongful act in Islamic jurisprudence. A believer has a strict religious duty to maintain excellent relations with their kinship network to the best of their ability.
The divine directive explicitly commands believers to honour these bonds. Almighty Allah says:
“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives…” (Surah An-Nisa, 4:36).
Consequently, a groom must restore and maintain excellent treatment of his parents by inviting them and allowing them to share in the happiness of the wedding. This inclusive and respectful treatment must naturally extend to siblings and other close relatives.
The Sunnah of the Walima and Family Integration
Refusing to host any form of wedding banquet (Walima) contradicts established prophetic guidance. A groom is instructed to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) by organising a Walima that aligns with his financial means, regardless of how modest it may be.
Furthermore, marriage is not merely the union of two individuals but the merging of two families. It is highly advised for the groom to facilitate mutual introductions between his family and his wife’s family. Fostering these extended relationships establishes a network of support that adds significant value and harmony to the newly formed household.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) profoundly emphasised the necessity of this social cohesion, stating:
Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should maintain good relation with his kindred” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim).
Preserving Family Unity Against Discord
While a groom’s sudden withdrawal or restrictive attitude towards the wedding can cause immense sorrow for the family, relatives are advised to respond with patience and strategic wisdom. Family members should attempt to appreciate the individual’s perspective and proactively help him intermingle with the family to celebrate the joyful occasion.
By actively offering understanding and maintaining a welcoming environment, the family can prevent the accursed Satan from disseminating seeds of hatred and animosity among them, thereby protecting the familial bond from long-term damage.
