What To Look For In A Wife According To Islam?
A wife is a lifetime partner who should be chosen carefully. All Muslim families are expected to seek a compatible and suitable wife for their sons. Islamic Shariah outlines several criteria to look for in a prospective wife before tying the marriage knot.
The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) described the qualities to look for in a life partner:
تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأَرْبَعٍ لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ
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“A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 5090]
A devout wife who shares your dedication to faith can strengthen your relationship and guide you both on the path of righteousness. So, let’s take a closer look at the qualities that Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) recommended looking for in a prospective wife.
What To Look For In A Wife Before Marriage According To Islam?
As per the Quran, a Muslim should choose a wife who will help him obey Allah and His Messenger. Here are some important qualities to consider when choosing a spouse according to Islamic teachings:
No 01: Religious Commitment
A. Practical Application of Islam
To ensure a strong foundation for a successful marriage, prioritize finding a wife who demonstrates a sincere religious commitment to Islam. Look for a woman who actively practices Islamic teachings in her daily life.
This includes performing the five daily prayers (Salah), giving to charity, and observing the fast during Ramadan. A wife who prioritizes the practical aspects of Islam shows a deep connection with Allah and will contribute to the spiritual growth of your marriage.
B. Understanding of Morality
A wife who upholds the principles of Islam will contribute to a household that fosters a wholesome environment for personal and spiritual growth.
Most Islamic scholars consider it one of their greatest pre-marriage concerns to look for women who demonstrate knowledge of Islamic values and strive to live a pious life. This will strengthen your bond and journey toward righteousness together.
C. Consistent God-Consciousness
Observe your potential wife’s consistent God-consciousness in all aspects of her life to ensure your marriage will be strong. Look for signs that she maintains mindfulness of Allah through outward expressions of faith and in her daily actions and interactions. Her relatives and neighbors may be able to help you.
A wife who prioritizes her relationship with Allah and strives to align her life with Islamic values will contribute to a home centered on piety and righteousness.
D. Active Involvement in Islamic Community (Optional)
As you dig deeper into assessing a potential wife’s religious commitment, you should consider her active involvement in the Islamic community. Involvement can include teaching Quran classes and participating in Islamic events.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “The best among you (Muslims) are those who learn the Qur’an and teach it.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 5027]
It demonstrates a pious and knowledgeable individual who understands the importance of fostering a sense of unity and brotherhood among fellow Muslims.
Such involvement can contribute to a harmonious and spiritually fulfilling marriage, as both partners are dedicated to the principles and values of Islam.
No 02: Physical and Inner Beauty
A. Affection at First Sight
Physical attraction is a natural aspect of human relationships. The attraction and compatibility of a couple should be balanced in order to build a strong and fulfilling marriage.
B. Inner Beauty Traits
In Islam, the focus is on inner beauty traits that go beyond the surface. Kindness, compassion, and a loving nature are essential qualities to look for in a wife before marriage.
These traits form the foundation of a strong emotional and spiritual connection, fostering love, understanding, and support in the journey of marriage.
C. Assessment of Manners
Regularly observe and evaluate the manners of a potential wife before marriage, as they reflect her inner qualities and character. A woman’s manners can reveal her patience, honesty, humility, and respect, essential for a harmonious and respectful marital environment.
The Messenger of Allah said: “You should marry virgins, for their mouths are sweeter, their wombs are more prolific and they are satisfied with less.” [Sunan Ibn Majah 1861]
Notice how she interacts with others, handles conflicts, and treats those around her. According to Islam, a woman with good manners is knowledgeable, pious, and insightful, embodying the qualities desired in a wife.
No 03: Her Wealth
It’s a good pre-marriage assessment to weigh a woman’s financial stability. Though Allah Says in Surah An-Nisa 4:34:
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌۭ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّۭا كَبِيرًۭا ٣٤
“Men are caretakers of women, since Allah has made some of them excel the others, and because of the wealth they have spent. So, the righteous women are obedient, (and) guard (the property and honor of their husbands) in (their) absence with the protection given by Allah. As for women of whom you fear rebellion, convince them, and leave them apart in beds, and beat them. Then, if they obey you, do not seek a way against them. Surely, Allah is the Highest, the Greatest.”
So, you should not choose a spouse based solely on their financial stability but consider your financial compatibility. A wife who possesses wealth can support the husband’s responsibilities, strengthening the foundation of the relationship.
No 04: Lineage and Family Background
A. Understanding Familial Context
Explore her family’s lineage and background to understand her upbringing and influences. By looking into her familial context, you’ll uncover valuable insights into the dynamics, values, and traditions that have shaped her.
B. Integration Potential
Assess her family’s compatibility with yours to ensure seamless integration into each other’s lives. Consider their values, beliefs, and cultural practices. You should seek a wife whose family shares similar values and beliefs (like Sunni or Shia), as this will create a harmonious and supportive family environment.
C. Balancing Lineage and Fundamental Qualities
While lineage holds significance in Islam, it shouldn’t overshadow the essential qualities of a woman’s piety, character, and adherence to Islamic teachings. They’re the pillars of a good marriage, ensuring a harmonious and blessed union in Allah’s eyes.
InShaAllah, you’ll be able to find the right wife for you and enjoy a lasting marriage if you fulfill these pre-marital considerations. May Allah grant us all pious partners in life. Ameen!
Find the Perfect Muslim Wife for a Blissful and Prosperous Marriage
When seeking a wife before marriage, according to Islam, it’s essential to prioritize qualities such as piety, knowledge, and insightfulness. An emotionally and spiritually rich marriage is built on commitment, inner beauty, and financial compatibility.
These qualities are like shining stars that guide and illuminate the path toward a successful and fulfilling marital life. Just as a ship relies on the North Star for direction, Muslims should seek a wife with these qualities to navigate marriage with grace and righteousness.
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Sources:
https://balancedbayt.com/qualities-to-look-for-in-a-potential-muslim-spouse/
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-scholar/family/qualities-look-spouse/
https://islamqa.info/en/answers/125907/what-to-look-for-in-a-spouse-in-islam
