Issues in Focus: Fatherhood | The Review of Religions

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Mansoor Dahri, UK

Introduction

Many children increasingly face the reality of living in a broken home or a home with only one parent. Not only do many single mothers have to raise children on their own, but there are also an increasing number of lone fathers in the same situation. 

Many children struggle without having both parents present. This can have detrimental consequences for their well-being.

The overwhelming majority of lone parents are still mothers, and so it is the absence of fathers and father figures that is still felt keenly by many children.

For those fathers who do stay and are present in the lives of their children, many find themselves struggling and overwhelmed, uncertain and unsure of what their role entails and how to do an adequate job. This is especially true of single fathers who have to raise their children without a maternal presence in the home.

Men are looking for answers to timeless questions.

What does it mean to be a father? What role should fathers play in the lives of their children?

Perhaps it’s possible to find answers to these questions in the tried-and-tested teachings and wise traditions of some of the major religions of the world?

A cursory glance at some of the world’s great faith traditions reveals

Guidance & Advice

Fathers play a vital role in teaching and instructing their children. For instance, according to the Holy Qur’an, the wise sage and prophet Luqman (as) said to his son:

“‘O my dear son! observe Prayer, and enjoin good, and forbid evil, and endure patiently whatever may befall thee. Surely, this is a matter of high resolve. And turn not thy cheek away from men in pride, nor walk in the earth haughtily; surely, Allah loves not any arrogant boaster.” (31:18-19)

Likewise, Jewish scriptures also emphasise the importance of fathers looking out for their children and reminding them of proper values and how to conduct themselves correctly. For instance, the Tanakh states:

“My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent;” (Proverbs 1:10)

Both these verses illustrate that it is a father’s duty to look out for his children and help them navigate the difficult and often dark realities of life.

Motivation & Encouragement

Fathers also play a crucial role in motivating and encouraging their children. They have to make sure to avoid being overly harsh or critical.

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

This verse highlights the importance of compassionate discipline. Fathers are instructed to avoid being overly harsh or cruel. Wisdom and emotional intelligence are key. Elsewhere, the New Testament states:

“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21)

Here, the emphasis is on ensuring that your children stay motivated. You should encourage them and help them improve instead of embittering them through constant criticism and belittling their efforts to the point where they lose confidence in themselves.

It’s also important to give good treatment to daughters and not just sons. For instance, the Holy Prophet Muhammad (sa) stated:

“Whoever has three daughters and is patient towards them, and feeds them, gives them to drink, and clothes them from his wealth; they will be a shield for him from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)

This Hadith or Saying makes it clear that fathers should not neglect their daughters and that they deserve good treatment as well. There is nothing wrong with having more daughters than sons or even just having daughters; they are also a blessing from God and deserving of equal treatment and encouragement.

Conclusion

This brief foray into some of the world’s major religious traditions paints an interesting picture of what the role of a father should be according to the scriptures of these faiths. An ideal father is someone who provides useful advice to his children, teaches them proper morals and values, reminds them of these morals and values, looks out for them and warns them of potential perils and dangers, helps them navigate the pitfalls of life, advises and disciplines them with love and encouragement, and avoids being overly harsh and critical. This is sound advice for fathers who are unsure of their role in the modern age.